Sunday, June 9, 2013

We Don't Know Jack

Social Sunday: Ask Pup A Question

Social Sunday: Ask Pup A Question:

Any more questions before pup makes his video?

Social Sunday: Ask Pup A Question

Social Sunday: Ask Pup A Question:

It's been a long time since pup has opened up his Ask box for questions. For the option for anonymous asks will be available.

If pup gets some good ones he will post a video reply.

09/06/2013: A pup may not sleep on the bed unless invited to by...



09/06/2013: A pup may not sleep on the bed unless invited to by his Master.

For the last few days pup has been sleeping on a camping bed beside his bed, and has been sleeping remarkably well. Gus here has decided that he wanted to share half of it with me.

Enjoying it so far, pup thinks he'll keep it up for another month.

Subspace:42 Degrees. Now that it's June, down in Australia...



Subspace:42 Degrees.

Now that it's June, down in Australia it's winter. It gets pretty cold, at least by Australian standards - sometimes getting to as low as 32 degrees early in the mornings.

It can be hard sometimes, living alone when the people that matter the most to you are a world away. It's when the nights get cold that all pup wants to do is snuggle up to his Master and feel the warmth of his skin to keep warm - rather than go to bed alone every night.

It's been 11 months since pup has been touched in a meaningful way.

But better and warmer times are going to come; that, your pup does know. His love and his loyalty keep him strong and any dutiful pup would do the same.

Your pup misses you, there is barely a moment that passes where you're not on his mind - the feeling bring to tears to his eyes. It's at those times your pup likes to pause and contemplate. Before your pup gets to where he needs to be and become whom he needs to be, your pup has some things he needs to do for himself first.

In loving service. Always.

Pup.

"New Years Day: Mad. Pup inherited from his dad a...



"New Years Day: Mad.

Pup inherited from his dad a collection of Mad Magazines spanning the years 1978-1992.

In this edition [March 1978]:

"We re-zing… [The Original] Star Wars,

… sting Little House on the Prairie.

… sling Physical Fitness,

… and sing The Carter Follies."

As collectables, they are completely worthless. Their real value are as cultural artefacts.  While it is a bit of a stretch to associate Mad Magazine with "culture", satire captures the ideas, fears and thoughts of an era in a very concise way. 

Remember my completely worthless collection of Mad Magazines?

They're TOTALLY for sale.  

07/06/2013: Beard Envy.



07/06/2013: Beard Envy.

Pretty much every time you post a picture of you bent over(or anytime I scroll through your blog) I find myself with a boner.

Contact your doctor or seek emergency medical attention if your erection is painful or lasts longer than 4 hours.

A prolonged erection (priapism) can damage the penis.

noodlesandbeef: Excerpt from my Quora response to the question...



noodlesandbeef:

Excerpt from my Quora response to the question "What is everyday life like for a bodybuilder with huge muscles?"

I'm a hobbyist bodybuilder, and while I don't consider myself very large (please see: What does it feel like to have Body Dysmorphic Disorder?), thats how most people describe me.  I started bodybuilding at 140lbs and have been as big as 260lbs

[ … ]

I always opt for the disabled person stall.  Going into anything smaller is like funneling a bull into a kennel.  My shoulders graze the stall walls, I turn to sit and my thighs fight for room with the toilet paper dispenser; the ordeal leaves me winded and frustrated.

Airplane seats are no better.  Not that I've ever heard anyone say they enjoy sitting in an airplane seat, but watching the pained expressions of people as I explain I'm sitting beside them.  Thats rough.  I might as well be telling them we're sharing a seat for a trans-continental flight.  I tuck my arms in and try to make myself as small as possible, not because I want to, but I sympathize with the other passengers. Nobody wants my arm taking up both arm rests and half their seat.

Read the full response on Quora here.

This is an incredible and insightful article Dylan's written. I would like to add to it with something I've been holding onto for a while.

One of the things that stood out for me about the article was his use of the the word 'bodybuilder' - an identifier which in the past he had shirked away from.

Two years ago today, I had the priviledge of interviewing Dylan regarding his relationship with his body and his various projects at the time. It was the first time I had ever spoken to him on the phone, and I remember blushing and stammering a lot of the way through it (he does have an incredibly sexy voice).

Parts of the interview were used in an edition of The Cubby House Project about people's relationships with their bodies - specifically the desire to get bigger. 

Reading this article inspired me to go back into my audio archives and listen over the interview, it was interesting to hear how over two years, some things change and some things stay the same. The interview is inspiring, uplifting, educational, funny and at times sad. It's both one of the most important interviews I've done, but also an event which has shaped the direction of my life in unbelievable ways since then. 

Download the raw full-length interview here.

Download  the full "I Want to Be Big" episode of The Cubby House Project Here.

SOO close to reaching my goal weight.

Only 1.5kg (3lbs) to go!

06/06/2013: An Evening Ritual. Every moment in a pup's...









06/06/2013: An Evening Ritual.

Every moment in a pup's life is an opportunity to glorify his Master. The one whom he's sworn his love, loyalty and desire is the first thing he thinks about in the morning and the last thing he thinks about at night

Before he goes to bed and after he wakes up, a pup gives his thanks for all the gifts his Master gives him - he is invited to open up his heart further and gush  what he feels inside him, or whimper speechlessly if that is more appropriate.

Under no circumstance is a pup to sleep in his Master's bed without being invited first, that is both a reward and privilege - at other times a pup may sleep on a cot, feeling glad simply to have his Master there.

On this night, before he goes to sleep he would just like to say:

Always know that there is barely a moment when you're not on my mind. You have a radiance and a happiness which is truly infectious and the times that I am with you, those are the times which your pup feels truly alive. It's you that inspires your pup to be a better person, to do beautiful things and it's through you that your pup feels beautiful within himself.

The day that changed your pup's life was the day that he took your collar, and when your pup received your brand, that was the day that I affirmed to you that my love, my loyalty and my devotion are yours completely  I am your property, and that means the world to me.

Thank you for allowing me to be on this journey with you"

~I Love You Master. Sweet Dreams~

#It's legs day, legs day, gonna get down (and can't...



#It's legs day, legs day, gonna get down (and can't get up) on legs day#

05/06/2013: A Spectacle in Transit. Today pup finished listening...



05/06/2013: A Spectacle in Transit.

Today pup finished listening to Bossypants by Tina Fey. She does an amazing job injecting herself into her reading with humour and sincerity, and utilises the medium of sound like the performer she is. Check it out if you have the chance.

Pup had a job interview today, he presented himself well, but we'll just have to wait and see.

Today quickly pup wants to touch upon a something called "The Sweater Curse" - a superstition that if a partner knits a sweater for their  partner - their relationship will be doomed.

Excusing for a brief moment how ugly and uncomfortable knitted sweaters are, it's not surprising most people would sooner see themselves as single than inside one. - Our friend Wikipedia tells us why this supersition might not be so absurd:

  • Unlucky timing.Knitting a sweater takes a long time, and the relationship dies of natural causes during its making.[9]
  • Rescue mission.The knitter senses subconsciously that the relationship is about to end, and knits a sweater as a dramatic gesture to save it.
  • Catalyst for analyzing the relationship.Giving or receiving asignificant giftsuch as a sweater may cause either the giver or receiver to evaluate the relationship.[5]For example, the gift may seem too intimate, too domestic or too binding to thesignificant other. It can be seen as asignalthat makes them realize that the relationship is not reciprocal, prompting them to end the relationship before it involves obligations.[9][10]
  • Aversion.The significant other may simply not want to wearanythinghand-knit.[3]A hand-knit sweater can also subject them to ridicule, either because the sweater looks bad (i.e., poorly made or unfashionable) or conveys overly domestic connotations.[4][9][10]
  • Misdirected attention.The knitter loves their sweater a little too much, and pesters the significant other about the sweater instead of working on their relationship.[9]Alternatively, the knitter loves to knit too much, and spends too much time with their knitting instead of with the significant other.
  • Delusion.The knitter imagines incorrectly that their significant other likes them, and is not disillusioned before knitting the sweater and giving it to them.
  • Different valuation for handcrafts.The knitter sees the sweater as a significant Thing, having chosen the pattern and color carefully, and having invested hours of labor; the recipient sees the sweater as a thing that can be bought at the Gap for $35.

Part of the reason pup knits is so he can give things to people that mean things to him, but a little deeper there is an exhibitionist side to him, that gets a little thill from people made amused and confused by the transgressive act of a young, six foot, 283 pound man knitting - in public *gasp*!

Using leftover wool, pup is making a Tom Baker style scarf in the colours of the Bear Pride flag with the intention of selling it to help pay for a new pair of glasses. If Tumblr has taught me anything Bears and Dr Who go hand in hand most of the time.

When life gives you a dozen Pacific oysters - make oysters...



When life gives you a dozen Pacific oysters - make oysters kilpatrick.

Position: Research Officer

  • Unique opportunity to undertake research related to mental health.
  • Full-time, fixed term position for 12 months.
  • $55,604 - $75,461 per annum plus up to 17% superannuation contribution

    Working within a multidisciplinary team to carry out qualitative research to assess the appropriateness of mental health resources for lesbians and gay men. The project aims to improve online and print resources for depression and anxiety by identifying ways of making them more inclusive, appropriate, and effective for lesbians and gay men. You will have the opportunity to conduct focus groups and analyse the findings whilst preparing a final report for submission."
Oh look. My dream job just opened up at the Australian Research Centre for Sexuality, Health and Society.
 
It’s because of the work that they do that pup got into social research in the first place.

On the Train. Knitting. Listening to Tina Fey read "Bossypants"

Living the dream.

Hi pup, I saw you shaved off the beard, so I might as well take this opportunity. I am trying to grow a beard right now, but I find it hard to keep going because it itches so much, is there anything I can do, or just need to power through it? Sidenote: you and your blog are awesome.

I'm reminded of my facial shame every time I look into the mirror. I ask myself 'was it worth it for $100'?

The best thing you can do is to wait it out, personally, my beard doesn't really go through an itchy phase - it's one of my many superpowers - along with increased pain tolerance and eyes that change colours.

It shouldn't last too long.

Thanks for the compliment :D 

Subspace: Mondays

Mondays can be hard for pup. Not in the usual way for most people, but it is the day that he often feels the most alone. Timezone troubles.

It's a feeling that comes down upon him as he sinks into his subspace, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot - but always simmering below the surface.

Today pup missed his Master in a way which rattled him, made him feel uneasy in the stomach and brought him to almost crying, holding back cautious not to confuse or upset people on the phones. A deep visceral needing.

Perhaps it isn't the distance which gets to pup so much, although that doesn't help. Even when a person is far away, they can feel close. It was all the little things that he couldn't be there to share that upset him, the small smiles and the massive laughs, exchanging knowing glances, and doing things excite and challenge us both. Birthdays, holidays, good days and bad days. Having him come home after a long day and have his pup fall to his knees and show him how loved and special he truly is.

It's in this mindset where insecurities and feelings of unworthiness creep in, he looks in the mirror and he doesn't see his Master's pup but sees a different face and a different body. He's lost weight, his beard is gone and his bull ring is replaced by a retainer. He feels as though he let his Master down. For that my Master, your pup feels truly sorry.

It’s times like this when your pup has difficulty reconciling that you see your pup as handsome, perhaps even beautiful - but although your pup doesn’t always understand it, it means so much that you do.

I miss you. I truly do.

In loving service. Always.
XOXO
Pup

Pup is at his desk doing his thing when suddenly he becomes aware of his own smallness.

It’s a feeling of inadequacy, that he can be so much better, that he needs to be so much better.

You are so beautiful! <3

Pup is a work of art… a Salvidor Dali or Picaso to be specific.

Psst…You have a great blog!

Subspace: Cleaning out the Closet (Having Less and Getting...



Subspace: Cleaning out the Closet (Having Less and Getting More)

Pup isn't a particularly materialistic person. He doesn't care much for brands or things unless they have some sort of emotional significance.  Ultimately he can get by with very little, which is just as well as the process of selling a house and moving to another country means only taking what you absolutely need and nothing else. Smaller apartments and tiny houses seem actually rather appealing.

Pup's family has lived in his house for three generations now, so things can tend to accumulate with time. Pup also had the pleasure of having two housemates recently what were hoarders, one had an affinity for accumulating vacuum cleaners. the other just collected stuff.

It is quite a refreshing thing to be able to sort out through everything and either:

  • Sell what has monetary value (ebay and gumtree.com.au are my friends right now).
  • Donate what doesn't necessarily have monetary value but someone may find worthwhile.
  • Return things to where they rightfully belong.
  • Throw away old junk.

Part of this process has also been clearing out things that are a distractions. Time is too valuable to be spending time doing passive activities when there is so much that needs to be done - which means this world will (un)fortunatley have one fewer Pokemon master - gasp!

It's an ongoing process and it's work, but it's an incredibly rewarding process - and it is one among many small steps in this pup getting where he needs to go and be the person he needs to be.

Pup can't speak for other submissives, but an important part of subspace is shutting out extraneous noise within your life and instead learning to love and appreciate all the small gifts you are given every day, not only the emotional ones - but even small gestures from one's Master carry the most amazing emotional significance - and that's s truly beautiful thing.

~We are the experiences, the love and the memories we share - not our things~

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